The secret of being pregnant was nearly impossible to keep. My husband and I have been talking about adding to our family for a long while, preparing our families up for the news for years. It wasn't difficult to get pregnant and I am so lucky for that. Remi was fully prepared for the trials of conception due to his academic focus on obstectrics. We had originally thought that we would start having children right after we got married, but I am thankful instead for the year we spent working on our schooling.
It became important to me that I finish my MFA before getting pregnant and as luck would have it, I had that first time-stopping moment that I knew I was going to be a mother on the night before my last day of class. The celebration champagne was discreetly passed on to Remi.
So far everything has gone smoothly, and I am feeling tiny kicks as I write this. So smoothly, in fact, that we already have our daughters name picked out.
Even while we were dating, names for future offspring were bounced back and forth, written and rewritten on multiple lists. Middle names have been cycled through and full names tested out loud, sweetly yelled down the hall. I believe the fact that we have enjoyed the process, the contesting, agreeing, deliberating, and defending our separate and mutual name choices have only solidified our team. We have been establishing ourselves as unified parents since before we ever said I do. One of the most exciting parts about thinking of my future with Winnie, is knowing that I'll be raising her with him.
If you are raising a child with a partner, be unified. And if you are one of the many that are raising children alone, be solid in yourself. As a daughter of a single mother, I can tell you that you are doing your best, your choices are valid and solid, and you are appreciated.