The tea cabinet.

monthly tea recommendation.

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The days are turning hotter and longer. Our house likes to sun itself in the mornings, absorbing as many cosy rays as it can, and then in the evening it greets us like a house cat back from the hunt with a gift of 82 degrees inside at 8 o’clock. So in the early mornings we coax in cool air from the garden before drawing the curtains and holding the comfortable temperature hostage. And then we have our tea. These mornings when the roses from outside are taking hospice on our counters and we light the candles with pretty scents we forgot we had, I found my tarot deck.

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I like to use cartomancy as a way to jumpstart introspection and intention in my day. How I interpret the meaning in connection to the question is based on how I may want my day to go or I will recognize an unconscious emotion and I make the effort to acknowledge that. I talk out loud about it to Remi and in that process I find a better meaning to the card or a more apt fortune. 

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As the summer solstice approaches, I aim to add another form of magic into my day. We are nearly halfway through the year and I am just about finished with the 4th trimester of pregnancy, the first three months of Winnie’s life. There have been many emotional ups and downs, but ultimately I am creating a rhythm. There is no true way to predict the future except in the decisions we make. In asking ourselves the deeper and harder questions we will know ourselves better and we can predict how we will react to the events of our futures. This mornings tarot card, the page of wands, told me that I’m allowed to let my creative ideas stay ideas for a while, I don’t need to be in a hurry. I can take my time and take things at my new pace as a mother. My new artistic rhythm.

Any tarot fans out there? What is your favorite card, and why? 

Waiting on Winnie.

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Our final month of pregnancy has arrived. We took some homemade maternity photos so that I can remember the anticipation, the weight of this little life inside me and the way my body changed for her. I am settling into a sense of calm amid the storm of decisions and anxieties. Letting the hormone driven feelings pass. Practicing my breath and focusing on feeling her movements and kicks, with my eyes closed as often as I can.

  • I go to sleep imagining contractions and what they might feel like. 
  • I imagine what the what the relief and wonder will be like the first time I hold her.
  • I wonder if she will recognize any of the songs we have been singing and playing for her the past few months.
  • I'm curious about what she may be dreaming of. 
  • I hope that her journey into this world will be free of any dangers.
  • I wish I could speed up time, pause it and rewind all at once.
  • I'm trying to remember what it was like to pick something off the floor easily.
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Winnie is due to arrive sometime around April's full moon, the pink moon. So we are counting down the moon phases. They say the last month of pregnancy feels the longest. To me it feels the most exciting and full in comparison to the last eight. It is passing slowing, as if I am watching a moonrise and set. I am waiting to meet someone I feel like I have always known.

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Journaling just for you.

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Last year I started writing in a journal nearly daily. It's a mixture of a bullet journal, to do list, sketchbook, calendar and classic stream-of-consiousness feelings writing. I use this graph paper book, covered with some pretty paper. I write in pencil and fill blank spaces with washi tape and ribbon. I keep a digital calendar and notes as well, but something about the act of physically writing is incredibly helpful to me. 

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What I find the most important part of it is the secrecy. Meaning, the ability to have a special place where only you can go and just unleash your feelings & thoughts. This can be a hidden folder on your desktop or phone, a pad of paper in a locked drawer, words written in a secret language or in my case just a book that I know no one else reads but me.

I share the drawings and to do lists and particularly pleasing ‘bujo' spreads, but most of the pages are just for me. If you are struggling with an emotion, having difficult feelings, really angry, or even very happy it is nearly always helpful to spend 10 to 20 minutes just writing. Without the worry of what it may sound like to someone else or if the grammar is correct or if your handwriting can be read, you are free. 

In journaling I have unlocked patterns within myself, become aware of my true thoughts about certain things or people and discovered a better idea of what kind of person I was & who I want to be. I used to think that journaling was just a recounting of the day, a captain's log of a life that held far less adventure than any captain I can think of. Instead, it is a place to record versions of yourself. It is a time capsule of sorts. I believe in keeping journals for our future selves to reflect on. There are those as well who find that they need to burn their past paper selves, as a form of growing.

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Recently, I read a journal entry from myself at fifteen years old. The Tris that I saw there surprised me and I was grateful to have this image of who I was and what I wanted then.

This may seem like a no-brainer to some. But just in case you haven't before, I urge everyone to journal. I also urge you to doodle in the margins, or all over the whole page. I'm also very passionate about the health benefits of doodling, but that's a subject for another day of writing into the abyss of the internet.